Today's Negativity Fast Tip. Navigate conflict with confidence using 4 tips on how to confront effectively—transform tension into understanding!
Trevor Lund has helped over 10,000 people fast from negativity since 2006. Check out all the tips and tools to fast from negativity https://revtrev.link/tips Join the negativity fast at https://revtrev.link/fast and find out how to Live LIGHT Above the Negativity https://revtrev.link/bless
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Four Tips on How to Confront
Let's start with Peterson's transliteration of Matthew 7:1-5. He says, "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, and criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbours face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? This whole traveling roadshow mentality over and over again, playing holier than thou part instead of just living your part, wipe that ugly sneer off your own face that you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbour.”
When I was younger, I thought confrontation was a good word. I was the one in people's faces. You say something; you better back that up. I would challenge and just ask my teachers in school, just ask my profs in university. Well, three years ago, I had a heart attack, and I've realized a lot of things since then, including being right isn't the most important thing. Loving right is more important. And so that's where these tips come from today. How do you love right during a confrontation?
So the first tip is, if you're challenged, it might be okay to ignore. This is what Nehemiah did when he was rebuilding the walls and people came and sent him letters saying, "You must meet with us." He ignored them. He took them to God. He said, "God, you take care of them. I don't have time for this. I'm in a great work." In his case, like they were going to lead him out to kill them. When someone wants to confront with you, sometimes you can just ignore it. Most times you can just ignore it—I'm not talking about your spouse, right? You got to work it out with them.
Do you have to respond? That's the question you should first ask yourself. When somebody comes to challenge you, do I have to respond? The second thing: if you can't avoid the challenge, look for the gold in the person. What does God love about them? Because when you start seeing them from God's perspective, it changes you. And probably will change your approach.
If you take the time to ask yourself, "Do I need to get involved? And what does God love about them?" If someone walks in the door of your office and is just going to yell at you, and as they're yelling, instead of thinking, "How am I going to defend myself?" ask God, ask Holy Spirit, "What do you love about them?" You'll be shocked and surprised what comes out of your mouth next. But the Holy Spirit will give you the words to say to turn that conversation.
If you are expecting to have confrontation, I want you to get God's perspective on it. And God, what do you love about them? The third tip: I know I'm not in the right place if I'm ready to put someone in their place. If I'm ready to knock someone off their high horse, I realize I'm on my high horse. You hear what I'm saying? If you need to confront but can take some time, take some time. Don't be so quick to put somebody in their place. Even if you're right, even if truth is on your side, you want to confront—take the time, hear from Holy Spirit, listen to what he says about what he loves about them.
And the fourth tip is really—you need to protect your peace. What do I mean by that? You need to forgive; you need to bless. All of us are going to have times when somebody misjudges something we've said or done or left undone or left unsaid. And some of those people will try to call us to an account. And generally, it's not when you are in the right place to love them back. It's totally all right, even in a couple relationship, to say, "Can we talk about this later?" Because if you can see that they're hurting, and that's why they're hurting you—yeah, no, it might not be right the way they're doing it—but how about loving them first?
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Carpe Vitae!