Discover practical tips to recognize your gravitas and grow your presence with confidence, authority, and influence in any setting.
Trevor H. Lund is the founder of Live LIGHT Academy at https://livelight.ca/ and the Creative Storyteller at https://revtrev.com Check out https://revtrev.com/tv for past videos and live casts and https://revtrev.com/radio to subscribe to his podcast wherever you listen.
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Why and How to Grow and Show Proven Character
I have been thinking a lot about hope.
I’ve had an atheist ask me to pray for her to have my peace. I’ve had a nurse tell me I have too much joy for someone in my situation. I don’t think I had anyone yet to ask me about the reason for my hope.
There was someone on Twitter—back when Twitter was Twitter and Twitter was young and not yet a dumpster fire—who asked me a question. I couldn’t figure out an answer, so I asked Karen what I should say and Karen said right away—“You need to teach her how to hope”. That’s when I wrote the book Hope in Transition.
But she didn’t ask me about my hope, she wanted an answer to her problem and hope was the answer to her problem.
Today we’re going to explore the role proven character has with people seeing our hope. Before we get into all that,
Can I pray?
I want to start with Eugene Peterson’s transliteration of Ephesians 4:14-5:2. I like reading it because it gets me thinking..
Ephesians 4:14-5:2 No prolonged infancies among us, please. We’ll not tolerate babes in the woods, small children who are easy prey for predators. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can’t think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion. But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you. What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretence. Tell your neighbour the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself. Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can’t work. Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behaviour from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
Unpacking
I enjoy Peterson’s take on scripture. It gets me thinking about how I can apply it my life.
V.24 …take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.
V. 30…His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself.
5:1…Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behaviour from their parents.
It reminds me…
God is at work in me to reproduce His character in me.
Holy Spirit empowers and enables me to become more and more like Jesus.
I have a role to play.
Those are three things we need to always remember.
Does this really matter?
Yes. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love
We live in a world where information is everywhere, but relationship is lacking. Followers seem more important than friends.
But people aren’t just looking for facts—that AI can make up on the spot for them—they’re craving character they can trust, the kind that shows them who you really are.
Your proven character matters because it shows the world and each of us that you’ve got a story worth listening to.
Let’s talk more about Hope
When Peter was talking to the scattered church he said in
1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,
In my actual day job this is what I’m telling potential members of my team. This is our strategy as we’re scattered across western Canada. In our hearts we set apart Christ as Lord. We always need to prepared to give an answer when people ask the reason for our hope. And we do this with gentleness and respect. It’s a long-term relational approach we take.
And I have wondered why people have asked me for my peace, talked about my joy, but have yet to ask me about my hope.
In fact, I was doing visits and was talking with someone about all the problems in the world. From racist Tim Horton’s to the Oka Crisis 25 years ago. I decided to drop a pebble in the pool and said, “It just feels like this world isn’t right.” And right away he started in, “I don’t know what you believe, but I know where this world is going and I have a saviour…” I love it when people tell me the good things about Jesus. It’s a little awkward when they try to get me to convert. Why haven’t they seen my hope.
What I’ve learned over the years is that hope is seen in hurt.
Hope is seen in hurt.
Joy and peace overwhelm hope when people look at us from a distance. I’m not talking about physical distance, it’s the distance when people don’t ask the questions to get to know the real you.
As we trust in God, we get peace and joy and hope.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
When people meet us in the moment and they don’t know our story they can see the joy and more easily identify the peace…but I think they need to see our hurt before the hope becomes obvious.
Hope is seen in hurt.
But I have also learned that
People can sense character - Gravitas
It’s something called gravitas.
One of our team members is going to retire and I was trying to find a word to describe her “gravitas” is the word, but the person I was talking to wouldn’t have understood it without me explaining what the word meant. So I was trying to think of words that wouldn’t be potentially offensive. She’s got some weight for a lot of people. She’s their anchor. But most women I know don’t like being described as “having a lot of weight” to “leave a large waves in her wake.”
Maybe if I remind you what gravitas is, all this will make more sense.
It [gravitas] speaks to a soul that has developed enough spiritual mass to be attractive, like gravity. It makes the soul appear old, but gravitas has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with wounds that have healed well, failures that have been redeemed, sins that have been forgiven, and thorns that have settled into the flesh. These severe experiences with life expand the soul until it appears larger than the body that contains it. Then it is large enough to proclaim a holy joy, which makes the soul so attractive. M. Craig Barnes “The Pastor as Minor Poet” p. 49
People with gravitas carry a weight with them. It is a holy, kavod weight. כָּבוֹד (kavod) literally means "weight" or "heaviness."
Kavod is also the Hebrew word for “Glory”. They make a wake in the fluid of life around them. Gravitas is proven character.
What would it be like be known as someone with gravitas?
First be aware, proven character is an ongoing project.
Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Until you go a meet him or until you see him in the clouds He will be finishing the good work he’s started which is to make you more and more like himself.
But proven character has more value in this life than the next.
It means
- Wounds have been well-healed (Psalm 147:3)
- Failures have been redeemed, (Joel 2:25 )
- Sins have been forgiven, (1 John 1:9 ) and
- Thorns have settled into the flesh. (Romans 8:18-23)
What difference would that make to your current situations?
In this world you will have trouble, but take heart because Christ has overcome the world.
What would it feel like to have gravitas?
Gravitas comes from trusting God.
When we trust God we surrender control (Proverbs 3:5-6), have faith in his promises (Romans 4:20-21) and find peace in our uncertainty (Philippians 4:6-7) We seek out His guidance (Psalm 25:4-5) and endure through life’s challenges (Isaiah 40:3). We exchange our problems for His peace (1 Peter 5:7) and rejoice in His goodness (Psalm 37:3-4)
Do you want to have peace and hope and joy at all times and in every situation?
Do you want to have no fear of bad news even when it comes?
Do you want to exchange your problems for His peace?
Imagine of life of Gravitas
Imagine starting your day by fully trusting God, letting go of the need to control everything around you. Instead of trying to figure it all out on your own, you lean on His promises, knowing they are true and reliable even when things aren’t certain.
As challenges arise, you don’t panic or carry the weight alone. You bring your worries to God, exchanging your stress and anxiety for a deep, calming peace that steadies your heart. When you don’t know which way to turn, you look to Him for guidance, asking for clarity and direction.
Even when life feels hard or overwhelming, you find the strength to keep going, holding onto the hope that God’s power is made perfect in your weakness. You notice how His peace fills the gaps where fear and doubt once lived.
Throughout the day, you find reasons to rejoice—as you see His goodness in small moments and kind acts around you. This trust shapes how you live each moment: calm in uncertainty, hopeful in struggle, and joyful in His faithfulness.
That’s what it’s like to have gravitas.
How can you get gravitas?
That’s a great question, I’m so glad you asked.
That’s why I’ve developed the Use GRIT to Grow Gravitas Tool.
Use GRIT to Grow Gravitas Tool
Let’s look at what Paul says in
Romans 5:1-5 NLT Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
G – Grow through Trials Romans 5:3
R – Remain Faithful Romans 5:4
I – Invest in Character Romans 5:4b
T – Trust God’s Process Romans 5:5
G – Grow through Trials
“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance.”
—Romans 5:3
Suffering helps us develop endurance.
Perseverance is key for us to grow proven character. It comes through suffering. The good news is we live in a fallen world that has yet to be redeemed, surrounded by people who have yet to be redeemed, are being redeemed or don’t know they need to to be redeemed and we face a defeated enemy who only comes to steal kill and destroy—troubles will come. Suffering a surety. We don’t need to look for trouble. It will find you.
…Or is that just my experience? Jesus said in this world there will be trouble, but take heart because he’s overcome the world.
The question is will we choose to become better or bitter through the trails? That’s your role. Sometimes it’s a daily decision, sometimes it’s even moment by moment. But there is grace and there is forgiveness and those help us to persevere.
Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow. Pray for strength and wisdom when facing difficulties. Keep a journal of how God is working in your life through tough times.
Reflection Question:
Do I trust God to use what I go through for the good and my growth?
R – Remain Faithful
And endurance develops strength of character…Romans 5:4
Endurance helps develop proven character.
Stay committed to doing what is right, even when it’s hard. Keep your promises, even when it hurts. Psalm 15:4 Trust He will take all work all things together for Good.
Seek accountability from a trusted friend or mentor. Set simple, daily goals to practice faithfulness.
Reflection Question:
How do I keep going when things get hard?
I – Invest in Character
…Proven character strengthen our confident Hope. Romans 5:4b
Proven character strengthen our confident Hope.
You can’t pretend with God you need to be real with him.
Don’t hide your emotion from God Pour out your laments to God. I’ve put (hopefully) all the Psalms of Laments into categories https://revtrev.com/psalms
You can do it on your own, you need to trust in his promises.
Spend time reading and meditating on God’s promises. There are apparently 8,810 promises of God in the Bible I’ve got 100 categories to get you started https://revtrev.com/promises
You develop your character with testimony.
Remember what he’s done before. Remind yourself and how he’s taken you through fire and you have not been burned and through the high rivers and not been drowned and through the deep water and not been overwhelmed. The saints overcame by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony. For you to overcome you need His grace—his role and your testimony—your role. Speak hope and encouragement to yourself and others. Remember times when God has been faithful in the past. And know that if he’s done it before, He’ll do it again. If he did it for others, he’ll do it for me.
Reflection Question:
Does my character matter to me?
T – Trust God’s Process
“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.” —Romans 5:5
Here’s how I’ve learned to trust God in the process. I remember STAND…
STAND
S - Stop giving God credit for the works of the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. - John 10:10
T- Treat all hardship as discipline knowing he will work all things together for good. - Hebrews 12:7-11
A - Agree to cast all my cares upon him, because he cares for me. - 1 Peter 5:7
N- Never forget that the God of all hope fills me with all peace and joy as I trust in him, so I can overflow with hope by the power of Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13
D - Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything and thank him in all things, knowing that’s his will for me. - Philippians 4:6-7
Take time regularly to be still and know He is God. Exchange your problems for His Peace in prayer. Surrender your plans and ask God for guidance regularly. Thank God for what He is doing—even without seeing the outcome yet.
Reflection Question:
Do I show I trust God’s process?
Suffering is needed for endurance and endurance helps develop proven character. Proven character enhances our confident hope.
This is why hope can’t be seen so easily from a distance. People need to know your story or personality and know your prove character before they see your hope and ask a reason for it. They are drawn to your story when they sense gravitas.
Review Use GRIT to Grow Gravitas Tool
G – Grow through Trials Romans 5:3
Do I trust God to use what I go through for the good and my growth?
R – Remain Faithful Romans 5:4
How do I keep going when things get hard?
I – Invest in Character Romans 5:4b
Does my character matter to me?
T – Trust God’s Proces Romans 5:5
Do I show I trust God’s process?
People need to see you up close to see you have hope to ask you about it. They can seek you joy and peace at a distance. But they need to know your story to know your hope. And that takes risk on your part and theirs.
Conclusion
At the start I said I’ve had an atheist ask me to pray for her to have my peace. I’ve had a nurse tell me I have too much joy for someone in my situation. I’ve yet to have anyone ask me about the reason for my hope.
BUT…
I have had people ask me about Jesus.
And Jesus is our hope. 1 Timothy 1:1
1 Timothy 1:1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Saviour and of Christ Jesus our hope.
And Christ in you is the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27
Colossians 1:27 To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
When Jesus is in you and you trust him to be with him and in him, He transforms you with hope, so that his image is made more perfect in you. And when people are close enough to see you they will see Jesus in you, and will they see your hope.
Can I pray?
