Is toxic gratitude really a thing? Maybe it’s better to explain it as toxic positivity? We can avoid the real problem by saying we trust God and know we’re avoiding the real problem because we still worry. No more plastic Christianity. Learn how we can give thanks FOR every situation and not have cognitive dissonance in our lives.
Trevor H Lund is the founder of Live LIGHT Academy at https://livelight.ca and the Content Creator at https://revtrev.com Subscribe and set notifications on https://revtrev.com/tv for past videos and live casts and https://revtrev.com/radio to subscribe to his podcast wherever you listen.
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What is toxic gratitude and what is the only way to always avoid it?
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Today I want to talk about toxic gratitude and toxic positivity. Because these are things I get accused of promoting.
And I agree.
Not that I’m promoting them, But I agree that they do exist.
I’ve seen them.
And I see them in church circles, where we ignore our pain with platitudes and we don’t make use of the powerful laments available to us.
I’ve seen where that out-of-context Scripture verse is given priority over our reality.
I’ve seen…and I’ve said “I AM trusting God” but then I worry about this and that or I’m concerned about whatever or I’m worried that I’m concerned because I know when I trust God I should have peace.
That’s cognitive dissonance - saying I believe something, but not feeling like I really believe it.
What is toxic gratitude?
Toxic gratitude forces people to breeze past their pain in search of a silver lining, whether or not one exists. It’s probably more properly called toxic positivity.
What is toxic positivity?
Toxic positivity is an obsession with positive thinking. It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences, even those that are profoundly tragic.
We are called to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. It’s not about slapping some silly smile on your face and pretenting nothing is wrong when it is really wrong.
Listen…
1. I will not give God credit for the works of the one who comes to kill steal and destroy.
2. I will treat all hardship as discipline knowing He will work all things together for good.
3. I will remember God thinks generationally, while I want things done yesterday. But He is King, and that’s a very good thing.
I will lament when it’s time to lament and I will wrestle with things I need to wrestle with. And I’m wrestling with something this week that I hope you’ll wrestle with me as well.
Ephesians 5:18–21
18 And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless actions, but be filled by the Spirit: 19 speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music from your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.
Problem
How do we give God thanks FOR everything?
I looked it up, it says FOR everything.
I can give God thanks FOR a lot of things given TIME and given HEALING… while I’m in the middle of it…that seems a little ridiculous. I can feel some cognitive dissonance brewing. If you don’t wrestle with it, it could become toxic gratitude.
Does this really matter?
Paul tells us
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Holman Christian Standard Bible
16 Rejoice always! 17 Pray constantly. 18 Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
That’s easy…
I can always find something to grateful for IN everything. I’ve learned to do that with my whole heart.
I make the decision to be grateful. I FEEL grateful. I do something so show my appreciation.
Your heart is the seat of your emotions, the seat of your decision and the seat of your action.
When you do that, you can give thanks IN everything. That’s what the Gratitude Journal is for. It’s a tool to help you give thanks with your whole heart IN everything.
Them Paul goes to and says that not only is God’s will for us to give thanks IN everything, but that we should give thanks FOR everything.
James 1:2- 4 tells us something similiar.
Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.
This has got to be more than slapping a smile on your face and pretending everything this is OK, when it’s really not.
The good news is…God doesn’t tell us to do anything He doesn’t first empower us to do.
Let’s look at the context of giving thanks FOR everything.
Ephesians 5:18–21
18 And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless actions, but be filled by the Spirit:
19 speaking to one another
in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs,
singing and making music
from your heart to the Lord,
20 giving thanks always for everything
to God the Father
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
21 submitting to one another
in the fear of Christ.
Check out the orginal language
Five Greek participles are used and they require a main verb to complete the thought.
The main thought is the command to “be filled”. Greek present imperative tense is used. It has the connotation of a continuous replenishment, an ongoing state of being filled. An awkward translation could be “be being filled” or “keep on being filled.”
So continually being filled results in the five participles that follow.
When we are continually being filled by the Spirit we will be…
Speaking to one another with songs and hymns and Spiritual songs
Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.
Giving thanks always to God the Father for everything
Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ
The command is not to “give thanks always to God the Father FOR everything”
The command is to “Be continuously filled” with Holy Spirit… and then we’ll be
Speaking to one another with songs and hymns and Spiritual songs
Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.
Giving thanks always to God the Father for everything
Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ
What if?
That all came naturally to you? What if you lived it out as a natural response to God’s revelation?
Look at people around us who live this way. Have you never not seen a smile on Dave’s face when he talked about Jesus? Do you remember at time when it was so easy for you?
It can be that easy again.
Be continually filled by the Spirit. That’s how you avoid toxic gratitude and toxic positivity.
Be continually filled by the Spirit and naturally respond to His revelation.
Be continually filled by the Spirit and give thanks with your whole heart.
It’s not a one time event. It should be a daily - or even more frequent - occurance.
How do I be continually filled by the Spirit Tool
ASK
A - Abide and Obey
S - Seek, Ask, and Knock
K - Kindle the flame
A - Abide and Obey
Acts 5:32 We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey Him.”
Ephesians 4:30 And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption.
Am I obeying what God has told me to do TODAY?
S - Seek, Ask, and Knock
Luke 11:10-13 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?”
Have I asked Him to fill me TODAY?
K - Kindle the flame
Galatians 5:24-25 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit.
Have I positioned myself to receive TODAY?
Challenge
Will you avoid toxic gratitude? Will you avoid toxic positity? Will you ask to be continually filled by Holy Spirit? When you are, it cannot be toxic. When you aren’t it certainly can be. So remember:
A - Abide and Obey
S - Seek, Ask, and Knock
K - Kindle the flame
Will you seek to be filled even today?
Can I pray for you?
Colossians 2:6-7 Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, overflowing with gratitude.