How to be a trustable person. We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all let others down. We’ve all failed in our own estimation. But we have a trustable Father who wants us to be more and more like His trustable Son. How can we be more and more like the person God created us to be in this world that so needs His light to shine bright? Learn a tool that will help with that in this message.
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How to be a Trustable Person
How to be a Trustable Person
When I was a young pastor, I had a number of people who wanted to give me advice.
To a few, I said, “No, Thank you”.
Most I’d listen to what some would say and weigh what they said against the gain I’d see they’d get if I followed their advice. There were also people I sought out for advice. These generally weren’t the first ones to offer me unsolicited advice.
I looked for people who I could trust for advice and I found them.
I had concentric circles of people I’d seek advice from. There were people who I trusted who new me, people I really trusted who knew me and the church I pastored, and people I trusted knew the church.
Whenever I needed advice about the church, I’d go to all three circles. When I needed advice about my life I’d go to the ones who knew me.
It recently came to my attention that that was 25 years ago. I’ve been to those people’s funerals. All those people have aged 25 years and almost all those people have passed on.
The world needs more trustable people.
The problem is we’ve learned we can’t trust others.
People have let us down. People have disappointed us. People have hurt us when we’ve risked. We’ve learned it best to do things on our and figure it out for ourselves.
Most people aren’t looking for people they can trust.
And most of us don’t realize we are the ones who can be the trustable.
We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all let others down. We’ve all failed in our own estimation.
But we have a trustable Father who wants us to be more and more like His trustable Son. How can we be more and more like the person God created us to be in this world that so desperately needs more trustable people?
Being trustable has more to with trusting the trustable One than it does with hiding our past failures.
How can you be a trustable person?
Short answer : Holy Spirit
Longer answer:
Romans 12:9-21 (NIV)
Can we pray?
What if we took what Paul says as a template to become a more trustable person? I see what he said as something I need more and more of in my life.
How to be a trustable person tool
FREEDOM
For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13 (NLT)
Use your freedom to serve others in love.
FREEDOM Let’s use FREEDOM as a reminder of what we need to be a trustable person.
F - Faithfully be real. v. 9
R - Remember to honour v. 10
E - Engage Holy Spirit in everything v. 11-13
E - Echo God’s grace to others v. 14
D - Discover real friendship v. 15
O - Orient to wisdom v.16
M - Magnify good over evil v. 17-21
F - Faithfully be real
Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Some people will say if others are going to trust you, you need to be transparent. NO! You need to be consistently authentic. Transparency is unfiltered. Authenticity requires integrity.
How do you faithfully be real?
Walk with Integrity -
CS Lewis “Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.”
Psalm 15:1 Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?
Psalm 15:4 Those who despise flagrant sinners, and honor the faithful followers of the Lord and keep their promises even when it hurts.
That’s integrity - it’s doing the good you know you ought to do, and not doing what you know you shouldn’t be doing, even if it’s only God sees it.
When you have integrity, you can be authentic. When you are authentic you’re love will be sincere
What does God say about my integrity?
If He’s not impressed with it He’s given us tools to deal with it - confession and repentance - you can become more and more of a trustable person starting today.
R - Remember to honour
Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.
How do you honour one another above yourself?
Consistently keep confidences -
If you tell someone something in confidence, you tell them something secret or private and you trust them not to tell anyone else.
Don’t gossip. Don’t share in public what was shared in private. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Do to others what you want them to do to you.
In the heat of an argument, don’t betray confidences; Word is sure to get around, and no one will trust you. Proverbs 25:9-10 MSG
Do I consistently keep what others have confided in me?
If you haven’t, go ask forgiveness from the person you gossiped with and if the person you gossiped about has been offended, go ask forgiveness from them as well.
E - Engage Holy Spirit in everything
Romans 12:11-13 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
How do you keep your spiritual fervour? Stay connected with God. We can’t do what Paul tells us to do in our strength and stamina. God empowers you to accomplish every good work prompted by faith. He has given you everything you need for life and Godliness.
How do you keep connected with God?
Allow Holy Spirit to do soul work -
Keep short accounts with God. Can you ask Him to search you?
If your spiritual fervour is lacking, spend time on your Father’s lap. It’s what you were created for. He’s not angry or disappointed in you. How can He be disappointed? He’s outside of time. He’s seen every failure and knows how He works it all together for good. He gently leads when we allow Him to.
Do I let Holy Spirit do soul work?
Control the little things. Keep accounts short with Him. Jesus said:
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. Luke 16:10
E - Echo God’s grace to others
Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
This upside-down inside-out kingdom is counter-intuitive to what we’d like to call common sense. Bless the ones who persecute you?!?
Echo the grace you receive from God to others. One way you can do that is to:
Set and respect boundaries -
Boundaries help you define how you would like to be treated by others. Treat others the way they want to be treated. Set your own boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.
Proverbs 22:28 Don’t cheat your neighbour by moving the ancient boundary markers set up by previous generations.
What if a loved one doesn’t want you talk about Jesus? Let them see the difference God makes in your life without pointing it out.
Do I respect the boundaries of others?
D - Discover real friendship
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
It comes natural to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn when we treat each other as friends.
How do you become a real friend to others?
Be vulnerable -
Being vulnerable means being in a position where other people can hurt you. It often means expressing the sides of yourself about which you have the least confidence or certainty, and allowing others to respond to them.
One of the ways to know real friendship is to have friends who can speak wisdom into your life.
Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. Proverbs 13:20 NLT
Do I really rejoice with those who rejoice? Am I comfortable being uncomfortable with those who mourn?
O - Orient to Wisdom
Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
orient - to align or position something toward a particular point or reference
What is Wisdom?
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favouritism and is always sincere. James 3:17
Do I orient to wisdom?
M - Magnify good over evil
Romans 12:17-21 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
In this world we do face evil. Never be so impressed with the size of your problem that you become less impressed with the size of your God.
Instead, live like Jesus lived. Bless those who curse you.
And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven? Luke 16:11
Do I overcome evil with good?
Conclusion
This is the life He has called us to. He died that we could live in FREEDOM our response to what He’s done is to…
F - Faithfully be real.
R - Remember to honour
E - Engage Holy Spirit in everything
E - Echo God’s grace to others
D - Discover real friendship
O - Orient to wisdom
M - Magnify good over evil
As we do this over time, we become more and more trustable people.
The world needs more trustable people.
Will you be a trustable person?
With Holy Spirit’s help and empowering and other people walking with you, you can.
Can I pray?